Feel like you need to reconnect? With the responsibility to work, family, chores, and any other commitments you have, it can be easy to find yourself spending less and less quality time with your partner. You feel tired, stressed, and stretched thin. You start to feel like you’re energy level allows you to merely flip on the T.V. and fall asleep in front of it. With this kind of pattern, your relationship can start to feel less rewarding. You want to feel closer, but you can’t seem to find the time.
While it’s great to share stories about your day, catch each other up on the latest who-did-what and your experiences, there are other, more intimate ways to ground your relationship than the standard “how was your day?” approach. Here are a few simple strategies that can yield increased positivity between you and yours.
After your long day, when you get home and see one another, initiate intentional physical contact with one another. Sometimes it might be in the form of a sustained hug and a kiss. Maybe other days it will be something more playful and light-hearted. Experiencing one another’s touch, smell, and physical proximity in this way is a powerful catalyst for reconnection.
Another impactful technique you can use is to let your loved one know how much you’ve missed them, thought about them, or how glad you are to see them. Saying the words, “You’re home! I missed you today,” or “ Oh my gosh, I’m so glad to see you,” can express to your partner the appreciation you have for them, the warmth you feel, and your desire to feel close. What they can experience after hearing those words is powerful- an experience of being nurtured, wanted and held. (And who doesn’t love feeling that?!)
Eye contact is another simple way to reground yourselves in your relationship. During an embrace, gazing into one another’s eyes can heighten the feeling of intimacy at that moment. Talking with one another about your day, how glad you are to be home with one another while making eye contact engages more of your whole self. So much can be communicated through eye contact- their appreciation for you, your need for support, mutual admiration, and so many other feelings. This can strengthen the connection between you and allow both of you to feel more held in the relationship.
Set aside technology at some point during the evening. Agree to an amount of time if you wish 20, 45, 60 minutes- whatever seems feasible, and turn off your T.V.; silence your phones, tablets, computers, and other devices you have. Turn them over or put them in the next room and focus on one another. We compromise our connection and ability to be present with one another when we split our attention. Sure, multitasking has its place, and that place is not between you and your partner as you spend quality time together.
These are just a few strategies that you can put toward reigniting the intimate connection between you and your partner. Maybe you can’t find more time, but with a few tweaks here and there, you’ll see that you can make some. And a little quality time can go a long way.
Love and Be Loved,