You Can Have Better Sex and More Intimacy

Natalie Mills San Francisco Psychotherapy and Coaching, San Francisco Counseling, San Francisco Therapy, San Francisco CA Therapists, San Francisco CA Therapist, San Francisco CA Couples Counseling, couples therapy san francisco ca, couples therapist san francisco ca, San Francisco Marriage Therapy, San Francisco Marriage Counseling, San Francisco Coaching, EMDR therapists in San Francisco, EMDR therapist in san Francisco ca, EMDR therapy in San Francisco CA, psychologist in san francisco, female psychotherapist san francisco, psychotherapist in san francisco, marriage and family therapist in san francisco, relationship therapy in san francisco, help with intimacy therapy san francisco, help with intimacy San Francisco, parenting issues san Francisco therapy, help for depression in san francisco, depression treatment san francisco, anxiety treatment san Francisco, help for anxiety san francisco, addiction treatment San Francisco, alcoholism treatment san francisco ca, help with substance abuse san francisco, eating disorders, help with anorexia san francisco, help with bulimia san francisco, help with binge eating disorder san francisco, learning self-care, EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, self-compassion therapy san francisco, family therapy san francisco, eating disorder therapist in San Francisco ca, eating disorder specialist san francisco, pre marital therapy san francisco, couples therapy san francisco, couples therapist San Francisco, pre marital counseling san francisco, recovering from an eating disorder san francisco, help with eating disorder san francisco, treatment for anorexia san francisco ca, treatment for bulimia san francisco ca, treatment for binge eating san francisco ca, addiction treatment san francisco ca, treatment for substance abuse san francisco, eating disorder treatment San Francisco, mental health san francisco, mental health therapist san francisco, mental health professional san francisco, healing from shame san francisco, recovering from infidelity san francisco ca, career counseling san francisco, trauma recovery san Francisco therapy ca, trauma treatment san francisco ca, mental health support in san francisco, treatment for shame san francisco, secual abuse specialist san francisco ca, treatment for sexual abuse san francisco therapy, trauma treatment San Francisco, PTSD therapist in San Francisco ca, therapy for PTSD in San Francisco ca, trauma specialist san francisco, PTSD specialist san francisco, treatment for obsessive compulsive disorder san francisco ca, anger management therapy san francisco, stress management therapy san francisco, help with communication san francisco, performance enhancement coaching san francisco, attachment-based therapy san francisco, attachment-based therapist san francisco, mindful meditation therapy san francisco, sex therapy san francisco, sex therapist san francisco, sexuality specialist therapy san francisco, treatment for sexual abuse san francisco, psychospiritual therapy san francisco ca, grief therapy san francisco ca, feminist therapy san francisco, treatment for Narcissistic personality disorder san francisco, treatment for borderline personality disorder san francisco, marriage counseling san francisco, attachment-focused therapy san francisco, internal family systems therapy san francisco, internal family systems therapist in san francisco, choosing a therapist in san francisco, choosing the right therapist in san francisco, how to choose a therapist san francisco, find a therapist in san francisco, female therapist in san francisco, finding the right therapist san francisco, ethical non-monogamy affirming therapist in san francisco ca, ethical nonmonogamy affirming therapist in san francisco ca, polyamory affirming therapist san francisco ca

What’s the difference between sex and intimacy? Sex is a behavior that, when broken down, includes the relationship we have with our sexuality and the way we express it. It includes flirting, foreplay, methods for attracting desired partners, different stages of arousal, and acts. There are emotional, cognitive, biological, behavioral, and sociological implications of sex and how we choose to express our sexuality.

Intimacy is a very close familiarity one shares with others. Most of us share intimate relationships with friends, family, and or partners. When we have intimacy in relationship we share our desires, dreams, feel safer exposing our flaws, and allow ourselves to be more vulnerable n that relationship. We allow ourselves to be seen more fully than our relationships in which we experience less intimacy or our more peripheral relationships.

Often, when we share intimacy with someone, our sexual relationship with that person improves. Likewise, when we have a quality sexual relationship with someone, we experience a higher level of intimacy with our partners. As both of these aspects of our relationship improve, we experience a bolstered bond that we find more nourishing, satisfying, and reliable.

Many of the clients I see, both couples and individuals, tell me that they are experiencing less intimacy in their relationship than they find satisfactory and or that their sexual relationship isn’t what they want it to be. Some feel hopeless because they feel they’ve tried everything, and nothing seems to be working. Others dread sharing their level of dissatisfaction with their partner out of a multitude of fears. The most common fears I hear are related to fear of rejection- that their partner will judge them, experience their requests as needy, too kinky for their comfort level, or hear these requests as some judgment.

When these problems show themselves in our relationships, it’s easy to remain quiet about or needs due to these fears. We become frustrated, resentful, and hopeless that our relationship will ever change. In a desperate effort to counteract their genuine desire, some people begin to look outside the relationship in various ways to treat these symptoms or completely cut themselves off from them. Many of my clients come in telling me that they think these aspects of a relationship should come easily and naturally and are confused about why they’re experiencing these problems in the first place. I reassure them that the presence of these problems does not translate into a doomed relationship, a lifetime of bad sex, or a connection capable of stunted intimacy; relationships, sex, and intimacy are not unlike many of the things we want in our lives. They take commitment both, to ourselves and our authenticity, hard work, and risk. And it’s worth the investment.

People who take the plunge and begin to explore their need for better sex and intimacy (both with themselves and with their partners) find a deepened confidence in themselves, in their relationship, and in the rest of their lives. Stick around to find out how and why.


Love and Be Loved,

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